Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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