Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
