hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
