Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
