im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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