yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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