i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you win again, gameday.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
