There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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