It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
