just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
