That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
