i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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