OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
