is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
