I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
