Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Randomize
