Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
