sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
