I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
