If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
