I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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