Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
