all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
