Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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