I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
