You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
