dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
