that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
