If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
