How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
