if only i could text you this smell
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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