oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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