You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
