she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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