possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
