I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This is the high leading the old right now
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
