I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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