cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
