The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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