Kiss
Puke
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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