How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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