So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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