if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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