wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
