Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
