I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
