Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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