Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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