Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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