Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
